Wisdom from 30-Somethings to Parents

December 06, 2017

Hey there. We made it to Question 3 in our Wisdom from 30-Somethings Blog. “What would you tell your parents to do differently if you could reflect back on their parenting when you were a teenager and young adult?” Here is a fusion of their answers:

  1. Have your child take courses or an elective in a career-related subject BEFORE they declare a major. I didn’t really want to listen to my parents in college but they were paying the bills and in hindsight knew way more than I did! Have them shadow someone in the career they are interested in. Also, be an inspiration to your child. Be tough and set ground rules, but be a non judgmental stick or they’ll stop coming to you. Tell them their job is their education and health and to do their best in both. Don’t ever compare your child to another child because it can lower a child’s self-esteem and make them feel/believe they may not ever be good enough.
  2. I am actually very thankful for how my parents helped me through my college search and job search at the beginning of my career.  They pushed me to go farther away to school than most of my peers because they knew I would be the type of kid who would come home every weekend.  This forced me to stay away from home and fully immerse myself in the college environment.  I am forever grateful for that “shove.” They also put their feelings aside when I declared a major they knew wasn’t best for me out of high school.  At times I look back and wish they had told me to choose a more stable major rather than Musical Theater, however I learned from my experience. It brought me “out of my shell,” and I learned from that what I really wanted to do.  Then they also helped me to connect with a career coach when I realized living the theater lifestyle was not for me.
  3. That individual decisions aren’t really that important, longitudinally speaking. Location of college, major chosen and job choices are just that, choices. More important is the framework for decision-making. If kids know what they value – challenges, security, adventure, travel, steady pay check, whatever – they will eventually make enough right decisions to make them happy. One decision doesn’t matter, but the accretion of these choices will dictate much.
  4. Do not put so much pressure on me! I was always under so much pressure to do 110%, focus and work all the time. Recommending you, Jo, was the best thing they could have done because then it felt like we worked on my future together, rather than being pressured by my parents.

RECENT POSTS

  • More Wisdom From 30-Somethings To 20-Somethings

    More Wisdom From 30-Somethings To 20-Somethings The second question I asked my former 20-Something clients (now in their 30’s), uncovered some wisdom about values and priorities. The question was, “What do you define as success now, vs when you were in your early 20’s?” Here are their answers: “When I was 20 I was focused on

    30-Somethings Talk to 20-Somethings

    When we get older, we get wiser, but it’s tough to listen to wisdom because it sounds boring and cliché. So I interviewed some former clients, now in their 30’s and asked them to pass on some wisdom. Simply put I asked them a few questions. The first one was, “What would you tell your

    From Bored to Happy in 90 Days

    Situation Analysis: Violet, 26, was ‘stuck’ in a job that she believed had little upward career trajectory. Her brain was in “atrophy” as she put it, and she needed a more dynamic environment in NYC, with potential to earn more and build new professional muscles.  She is an improv fanatic and has a charismatic and

    Reshaping the lives of your millennial clients

    A “Private” Trust Company family member was having a difficult time helping his 25-year old daughter launch after several false career starts. The dynamics in the family were challenging as there were multiple children and several layers of family wealth.  The expectations were high and the daughter felt tremendous pressure to be successful. Jo Leonard

  • 5 tips to keep your unemployed graduate motivated

    Is your newly minted college graduate meandering (read unemployed?) As a parent of a recent college graduate, we feel proud. The cap has been tossed and the toasts have been made. The dorm supplies have been shipped or donated and your child is headed off to their first job with snazzy new shoes and a

    A student with a purpose is a motivated student

    Does your High School student need some career direction before college? Justin came to us as a junior in high school with a 3.6 GPA, 30 on the ACT and excellent community and leadership experiences under his belt.  Our assessments told us he was a Persuasive Innovator, with an interest in serving underprivileged communities.  He

    Offers are in but what’s the deal with the waitlist?

    This year has proven once again, that the college admissions process is far from fair and equal, a tough reality for Millennials who’s life has not yet been tainted too much by the unfair nature of big business. And so you may have a sad or grumpy high school senior on your hands.  Here are

    College Consultants – Need to improve their services

    College Consultants – Need to improve their services For the last few years the focus of College Consultants has been on “getting your kid into the best college possible.” But now with the cost of college elevated beyond reason, and the market demanding Millennials be focused, capable, and fully prepared post-graduation, the days of “hoping